I am finally back from Newfoundland. I had an okay time, but the more I go back there the more boring it gets. I did a few things, but I mostly took care of my Grandfather. I cooked, cleaned, and did laundry. I didn’t mind. I was happy to do things for him. I went to Springdale and La Sea for a ride. It was something to do.

I drank a few times, but not too much in Westport. Other than my Birthday I drank two or three times before there. When I went to Corner Brook I had a blast. I would have to say it was the best part of my trip. I went in on Friday and came back on a Sunday. Friday night I drank, and went to the bar. We were all pretty drunk, but it was so much fun. Saturday I was soooooo hung over. Even though I was so hung over Sam and I walked to the Y cuz AJ told us to come down the night before. After we left there we went to the plaza and had McDonalds, but I was too sick to eat. I wanted to do some shopping, but I was getting more sick as I kept walking. We then decided to go back to her place and sleep. God it was nice to get a nap. I forgot to mention Sam and I drank over a dozen of beer between us Friday night. Lol That night (Saturday) it was hard for us to drink because we were sooo hung over still. While waiting for AJ and D*A*rrel to come to Sam’s I was still a little sick, but I drank a little. Once they got there I was ready to drink, but I didn’t really drink that much that night. Unlike Sam. Once we got to the bar Sam kept drinken *stun fucker*. We drank a half dozen between us before we left for the bar, so it wasn’t so much. I had one or two more at he bar. I’m happy to say I wasn’t hung over the next day…. All in all, it was an awesome time. I drank so much in so little time. OMG…. Pineapple on subway subs are awesome. Good dam mainland…can’t get pineapple on subs up here. Anyway, when I go back to NL for Christmas I hope I can go back there again (y’all keep your fingers crossed :P). Thanks Sam, AJ, and Darrel for the wicked time in Corner brook. You guys are awesome and I had a wicked time.

Unfortunately, I never had the chance to visit other friends across the Island that I wanted, but it’s had when you don’t have a car to get there. Hopefully, I can come see you guys during Christmas. Sorry!

There were some interesting times in Westport that I would rather not get into. If I feel like telling you on MSN then I will. Lets just say it involves one specific idiot in particular.

Amanda, Lori, Sam and Lovetta!! I really enjoyed seeing you guys, and I miss you all so much. We are all doing well in life, and it’s good to see that all of our friendships are still as strong as ever. We rock! Love you guys.

That’s all I have to say for now, but I am sure I will have more to write about later.

Song of the day: Keith Urban - Raining on Sunday J

~Lots of Love~

Lori ¶ 10:26 AM

I am so lost of words it’s pathetic.

Life is Westport will never be the same, but of course that just means everyone is growing up. I miss a lot of things though, and I don’t know if I can really accept the fact things are changing. I know I have changed (for the better), and I do realize things will also change around me, so all I can do it just live with it.

I have been home for four days, but I am slightly bored with everything. Old friends are not the same, people are moved away, and there is literally a hell of a lot to do.

Since I have been home all I have been doing is worrying. I worry about facing one specific idiot that will only cause problems for me, but also for everything. It is very hard to accept he fact this looser might be related to me. All I want to do is smack the living shit out of him. He has caused more pain in my life than anything else, and it’s time I do something about it. What???

I haven’t seen my Grandmother yet because she is out of town, staying with her daughter, because she is working. I have been doing many thing around the house to take care of my Grandfather, and I enjoy doing that. I cook his food, do the laundry, and any other thing that is needed to be done around the house. He enjoys’s having me home (not because I do he house work) because he misses me a lot. I missed him too.

I guess I should go now. I have to go home and cook some supper. Think I might drink later. Maybe a fire on the beach! :)

~Lots of Love~

Lori ¶ 11:27 AM

I ended up being in this piss ass mood the past day or two, for various reason, that I probably won’t discuss on here. My choice, and that’s that.

I’ve been busy packing, spending some time on MSN, going out, doing this and that. Y’know, the usual stuff, etc. to get my mind off things. Reason: trying not to reflect on the past week. No matter how much I tried, though, things never seemed to slip my mind. They always seemed to return after the day was drawing to an end.

I had a wonderful week with a nice ending, but I ended up getting mixed feelings about certain events that took place. Not entirely my fault. I still seem to be drawing myself more towards the negative, and I know it’s not good. Maybe I am wrong, and I should be drawing myself more towards the positive, but, right now, it doesn’t feel right. I have no idea anymore, and I all do is wonder. I wonder how things will change, and what, if anything, will come from this change.

I have never believed in anything more strongly than what I believe about myself right now. I am who I am, and if you don’t like it then too bad. I most certainly am not going to change my ways simply to satisfy something that is not real, or doesn’t feel real. Don't get me wrong. Some change it good, but at this point and time I just don't know.

Anyway, I am done ranting about hopeless dreams. I received an email from an amazing friend this morning, and he had left me with a quote that really appealed to me.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop and look fear in the face..."

There are so many thing in life that I am yet to accomplish and experience, but I guess it will all come together in time. The truth is I am tired of waiting, and I do think it is time to look fear in the face. It’s time I become more of a take charge woman. Possibly with some help from others... :S

I guess i should get going now. I am off to Newfoundland on Friday, so I’ll see how things are when I get back. I’m probably guessing not much better, but that’s okay. Nothing I can’t handle.

~Lots of Love~

Lori ¶ 9:51 PM

I am not in the best of moods right now, so I think this song suits me just fine, for now.

Simple Plan - untitled

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me ¶ 8:36 PM